CSI Central Church, Kadapa

“Why, God, Why?”

My mother’s pale, gaunt face was transformed into wreathes of joy when I walked through the door of her hospital room. Although her eyes seemed sunken, they sparkled with the zest for life that is her own special trademark. With IVs dangling from her arms, she lifted her trembling hands to welcome me. I embraced her frail body, feeling the heat of her temperature and the protrusion of her bones through the thin hospital gown. She was unable to speak clearly, so I just patted her and sat down nearby. Within moments, she was asleep. And I was left to wonder, Why? Why does my mother’s life seem to be ending in suffering and, at times, confusion? Why, after a life lived selflessly for others, must her old age be, in some ways, a curse?

Yet I was reminded that unanswerable questions are not restricted to any particular age group when my son recently went through a series of tests to determine his physical condition five years after cancer surgery. The whys buzz through my head like irritating mental insects: Why? Why is my handsome, six-foot-nine-inch, 32-year-old son still stalked by the shadow of this horrific disease?

During the times when you and I can’t trace God’s hand of purpose, we must trust His heart of love. While wrestling with the illnesses of my mother and son, a beloved young friend was entering into the living death that is divorce. Why? Why doesn’t God melt the heart of the offending spouse and bring that person to genuine repentance so the marriage can be saved?

And once again, the angel of death has struck, this time taking the life of the beloved pastor who ministered to my family and shepherded me through my formative years. Why?

And before that personal loss, I had other “whys.”

Why would God let 110 fathers of unborn children perish in the collapse of the Twin Towers on September 11, 2001?

Why would God withhold children from godly parents and give them to a mother who would bash in their heads with a rock or drown them in a bathtub?

Why would God allow thousands of people to lose their pensions because of greedy corporate executives who are padding their own retirement fortunes?

Why would God allow the kidnapping of babies and children for the perverted pleasure of some pedophile?

Why do the young die? Why do the wicked prosper?